Recurrence – CL3203, CS1101E Part 5

16/11/22

Recurrence. As in, Recurrence Relations. But also, as in, Eternal Recurrence. And to that I say, my brain is about as smooth as chicken breast now! So was sir-eternal-recurrence who died of a softening of the brain.

I actually have nothing to say about the latter, ‘01e. But this is the only thing that I have not mentioned and insofar as mentioned, butchered. So heres me, module code butchering.

As of today, 09/11/22, my x mod 6 = 1 is done. Why do I say “my” so endearingly, as if I am sure that they do not totally want me dead or something? And if they do, I might get expelled. Actually no. I still have things to do.

So……did I “regain my personhood” as I had hoped to do at the start? I mean…, this is an ok time to ask, after all, all the interaction part is over already. I don’t know. I think? Maybe?

Is Nietzsche a proto-Nazi?

My head is a mess and I have a final like tomorrow. I think I might want to write a Part 6, maybe after all exams are over, or maybe during exams. And maybe a Part 7 after results. But I might likely just combine these into the semester’s module ramblings which are always long and rambly and this time round they will be even more rambly because I actually started writing in it even before the semester started.

The adults are a mess too. Uhm…why am I saying this as if I am not like 22 going on 88 and as if I am not covered to the neck in my grave. Number of profs getting covid: 2 (a nonzero number is already surprising). And today a prof just had to tell his students that he would be late for their presentation slot because he had too much coffee and thus had a stomachache. And presumably spent some time in the loo. And they do take a long time to mark the scripts. And also, not checking emails. Not checking the box, so they don’t know if students have submitted, and perhaps they don’t care. And ohh God they don’t need to care because they are in a position of authority! So… yeah. The adults are a mess too. Kinda makes me feel less bad about being a mess.

But anyway, has my being becoming became? I don’t know. I was trying to regain my sense of personhood. I have written this so many times I don’t even know what it means anymore. Those kids…

What is education? What is its end goal? Is it for the educator? Or for the educated?

My brain…has been fucked by education. I might possibly be autistic or somewhere on the spectrum. Or psychopathic. Somewhat neurodivergent. But I am a hedonist and an egoist and an amoralist, and possibly narcissist. Which means the only answer I have to the question is: education helps the educator to earn money.