Human Right – XX3219 Part 3

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Everyone, meaning every human, has a right to live. But does every human have the right to be treated like a human? Is this right a privilege of being human, granted by virtue of being human, or does it need to be earned? And if so, how does one earn this right?

Two people can speak the same words and with the same tone and attitude. Yet the emotion it evokes in my mind is totally different. The one who has clearly earned the right of being treated like a human (Person A), I listen and appreciate what they have to say. The one who has not earned the right to be human (Person B), I listen with annoyance.

People say that familiarity breeds contempt. Is this what’s at play here? I think there’s more to it than that. Person A has proven themselves to be useful by carrying a large part of our group project. And also, because they are like a mentor that is more useful than our actual mentor. A teacher that teaches better than our actual teacher. Though sounding like a fucking shinkansen sometimes because they talk so damn fast. But I can hear the excitement and passion in their voice, and this makes it ok to be a shinkansen sometimes. Person B also talks like a shinkansen sometimes. But there is no excitement, only stress and worry.

Has person B not earned the right to be seen and treated as a human? This is a question I ask myself a lot. Why is it that I see Person A as a human but Person B as subhuman. Perhaps familiarity breeds contempt and I have emotionally checked out. Perhaps we need therapy. Perhaps we need to have a good HTHT. Perhaps I should stop being a goddamn baby and just tell them how I feel for ONCE OH GOD WHAT THE FUCK.

But I guess the conclusion is that the right to be treated as a human has to be earned by proving your worth. By showing the group that you are useful. That you know certain things only a human can know, that we need you for certain things that we need a human for. You are not just human scum. I don’t know what I am saying. Human scum meaning replaceable or something.

I, too, have not earned my right to be treated as a human, in the context of 3219. No, they aren’t teaching you how to write a .tsx file because they are a nice person. They are teaching you because of your position in relation to them. And now you have to pay your dues. They aren’t teaching you the entire Web-MVC structure just for the sake of your learning, it is an investment. And as I have not earned my right to be a human, I have no right to complain.

Because I have not earned my right to be a human, I am at risk of being trampled upon because of my uselessness. And only because of my second order relation to a human am I allowed to continue living. To choose where to eat. To not be talked down. And if I lose this connection, I am no longer human.

And so, I will whore myself out. I pick at the skin on my lips and my fingers until they are raw. No, this isn’t related. My body don’t mean much to me other than a shelter for my spirit. This excoriation disorder is merely my feelings of guilt and worthlessness. And my spirit has checked out. I kinda like really wanna secede from the union. But because I am non-human, I will wait for at least 2 and a half more months. But what about next semester? Next season? I don’t fucking know what to do man.

 

So, I will talk abit about my ideal type. My ideal boyfriend is a woman who is physically strong who can fight for me but is not overly muscular. They are a barbie doll that will allow me to style them as I want. A morally abject god hater with just enough morals to not cheat on me and nothing else. And also, vegan because we love a misanthropic earth loving romantic. We will decide to go cliff diving and book a flight to take off tomorrow. We will stroll across a busy road raising a finger and that’s it. We are Maple and Sally. Jason Dean and Veronica.

There’s something that doesn’t strike me right about not wanting to have kids because creating kids will cause them a lifetime of suffering. It is almost too altruistic that it is unbelievable. Meanwhile I am ok with saying that I don’t want kids because they are a PITA. This seems quite weird to me, because I am ok with staying childfree for selfish reasons but not for altruistic reasons. It seems kinda sociopathic. I don’t know. Maybe I am indeed a sociopath.

So, I guess I do have to move to Taiwan after all. I saw a nice Taiwanese café at Star Vista that I would like to try out. It’s called Monki. I want to try their mee sua. But the problem is that they have shredded chicken mee sua, large intestine mee sua, and oyster mee sua, but no braised pork mee sua. Whyyyyy. ☹

Move to Taiwan and marry a strong woman.

But like the language barrier tho. 

1^st October, Halloween:

The bite test: something should enter a mouth only if it is morally permissible for a person to bite it, and in biting it, potentially break it. For example, you can put a banana into the mouth because you are allowed to eat a banana. You are allowed to put water in your mouth because you can bite it, just that there is no effect. You can’t put a dick or someone else’s tongue in your mouth because biting it amounts to causing bodily harm to another.

What about biting hair? Eating hair causes harm to the self. But trichotillomania is a bitch. I’m going bald.