Personhood – CS3203 Part 1

 25/08/22 

Sapere aude.

For whom is education for? Conventionally we say that education is for the next generation. For them to learn.

But perhaps teaching is also for the teacher. It takes a lot of bravery.

Sashimi-san has lost her personhood. She does not dare.

Sapere aude.

She hides from the truth because it is painful.

Is this just an attempt to regain her personhood?

To do things just to prove that she is still human.

To prove that she is not just a coward.

She is afraid even of Visual Studio because it seems like it might threaten to crash a PC.

People be interning in China, at Google, Shopee, going on exchange in the US of A, learning Thai, solo backpacking in Serbia, and I know I am not ready. At 18 I used to go around telling people that each person lives life at their own pace. Or perhaps I said that in my head to them, while listening to their troubles. Everyone’s life is their own journey. (But y’know theres an age limit to migrate to australia. But that’s beside the point.) We all end up in the same place anyway. (Nothingness.) Heaven. So I told them to not compare themselves to others. Because everyone elses path is different.

Maybe that advice was meant for me. Sounds like bloody hopium lol.

Sapere aude.

I want to learn to fight someone with a sword. Like kendo but also like iaido fucking cool actually. But maybe just SAO and Demon Slayer. Also Levi Ackerman.

How did I even manage to advance to my fourth year of study and yet know nothing?

They say life becomes so easy when you know you have a job ahead of you. You know, maybe I want to go to Duke-NUS after my undergrad. I know the 18-year-old wasn’t ready for med school. Maybe 2 years later… But lmao why would they even want me LOL.

I don’t know if I’m glad or what, that I’m not graduating and going out into the working world next year. I am not ready. Sometimes it seems like the only thing that awaits me is death itself.

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