Producing Stereotypes like Rabbits and Rambling on Confidence

 11/01/21

(Edit 21/01/21: the argument is bunk, the connection is bunk, indeed, the only relevant difference is how many K it is. no one has any style anymore, we are all here just because XYs need to go on walks but are too shy to ask each other out. but i did read somewhere that my hypothesis might be somehow right even if completely irrelevant, for the simple fact that Singaporeans are narcissistic and egoistic because of low crime rates and an excessive feeling of safety which lead people to become overconfident that they can do anything and no one will come and stab them with a knife because Singapore is safe AF y'know. and knives are illegal in singapore. and singaporeans have zero social responsibility because todays generation was born into an extremely paternalistic political environment and are hopeless at thinking for themselves.)

I might make a strange sounding statement: Singaporean professors are more self-confident than American professors. Is such self-confidence warranted? Is this observation even true, or generalizable in any context?

I have a small sample size of 2 and 2. Chinese / Asian / Singaporean professors tend to give lectures where they alone, would talk for long periods of time. And when they open the floor for discussion, the students alike, are expected to give relatively well-developed answers. On the other hand, White / Caucasian / American professors intersperse shorter and more fast paced discussions into their lecturing, sort of like a dialogue. I now realize that this might be an example of how Asian cultures place a stronger emphasis on remaining formal in formal settings like educational institutions. But it might also be taken as a sign of more confidence, since they are assured that students understand what they are saying, because they are good at explaining the subject matter, and do not have a constant need to get reassurance from students that they do indeed understand. And well another plausible reason is simply the difference between intro classes that are more one-way, as compared to senior classes which are heavily discussion based.

Of course, not all Americans are White and not all Singaporeans are Chinese. Which is just one reason such a statement is likely weightless. And I shall note that there are many other explanations for my observation, so I shall leave it at that.

On an unrelated (maybe?) note, simply thinking about going for class tomorrow makes my heart race. I am panicking. Things like being unprepared, clothing choice, participating…it drives fear through my heart simply thinking about it.

Which is why presentations, and the like are gonna be hell. Perhaps anxiety and lack of confidence might be remedied by (who woulda thunk) SSRIs. So maybe I might like to get back on antidepressants before the semester ramps up. But a Shinkansen waits for no one. And I’ve been no show for over two months before finally (with severe IBS manifestations and probably a heart thing) calling to reschedule. The receptionist was not pleased.

And Doc likely isn’t pleased too. And I will say that they look absolutely jaded, like an 80-year-old Foxconn factory worker unable to retire because they have been chasing material goods and have no savings. (Chennai, not Shenzhen, but loss of lives is a salient thing. And I do know what the main problem for production line workers is, the wages, not the bad habits.) Because ain’t it a production line? Clearly it isn’t a spa. So, because they aren’t pleased, do prescriptions of antidepressants continue…or? Because why else does one travel like double marathon distance, if not. Imma be thoroughly pissed if they decide that my antidepressants are no more. Because “if you been dealing without it for two months why continue?” But one reason that this is unlikely is that Lilly (nyse’s LLY) is our sovereign. And especially where I will go to, they worship those light green off white pills.

I don’t know what I am talking about. I have had an average of like 3 hours of sleep the past week, and I just spent the afternoon planning my future semester modules (with contemplating perhaps changing my major to PPE but realizing that imma be amidst even greater pretentiousness than what I am currently doing, and I can’t stand politics, but the main con being that I cannot possibly graduate in time if I do so) instead of doing my actual work and I am already falling behind and it is only the second day of the semester. Also, fraud, Gil, ya a fraud. Ya overestimated yourself and you gonna flunk everything now.

Peace.