Caffè / Coffee / Kopi

 21/06/21

It still feels unreal. (What feels unreal? Haha.) Why is there a tendency for good things to feel unreal. Does this point towards me being a pessimist, not believing that things can ever go well? Anyways.

I think I may have a sleeping problem. Insomnia, I think. Well, its not like I wake up often in the middle of the night. But if I wake up and its like 6am, even if I have only gotten like 3 or 4 hours of sleep, I will be unable to go back to sleep. And I spend a long time trying to fall asleep. Sometimes it takes 1 to 2 hours, sometimes it seems fine. And oftentimes a severe restlessness before bedtimes, where my heart races and I feel incomplete, like theres something I need to do, a nervousness.

I think part of this has to do with bad sleep hygiene. I spent a fuckton of time lying on my bed, using my phone, wanking, etc. Also I don’t restrain myself from taking 1-2 hour naps at like 8 or 9 pm.

Ive been considering various ways to solve this issue. Because I want to be able to get 8 hours of sleep each night. This has been my goal since like, 2017 or 2018. Certainly something like benzodiazepines will be a miracle pill. But those are ridiculousely hard to get, I think. Less serious than that would be antihistamines. And before that I think I should give melatonin a try.

But for now, I think I will take a break from coffee. Starting yesterday, 20th June 2021, I will try to stop drinking coffee for at least a week, maybe a month. Hopefully this will help me to sleep better. But I guess if I need more chemical help I am not above purchasing illicit prescription pills off the black market.

And I love a good, iced latte. And a cappuccino. But at least I guess I’ll allow myself tea, even matcha and black tea.

 

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