The Curious Case of Queer

29/05/20

I don’t know if I have mentioned it before. Boring life me probably has so little to talk about and thus keeps repeating the same few uninteresting details of my life trying to pass them off as interesting, so probably yeah. That I have been scrolling dating apps even though I don’t swipe anyone or reply to chats.

And there’s a phenomenon of 20-something young gay men who seem to enjoy being bottoms, and their whole sex life is based around being a bottom to older men, old enough to be their dad. And they will call these men “Daddy”, and offer to suck these older men’s dicks, calling the act affectionate terms such as “giving milk”.

Even during the current lockdown, these horny young dudes and middle aged men are prowling the pages of dating apps to find a match, meet them, and screw them or give oral. They send cryptic messages and meet late at night. These men usually live with their family. The younger men live with their parents and siblings, whereas the older men live with their wives and children. So, they are unable to rendezvous at each other’s homes, and have to resort to meeting in public places.

They will have to content with doing their deeds in the car, if either of them owns one. And this is not very uncommon, considering that these are men we are talking about, and the majority of car owners are men, in Singapore. Also, homosexuality is unassuming, a seemingly well-adjusted civil servant, or a guai-kia college student, may turn out to be gay. They may have girlfriends or wives. And yet they are bisexual and lust for the touch of a man.

Or, they do their deeds in public, at the beach or at parks, late at night when there is no sign of anyone around. Or public toilets, stinking as the male toilet may be, it is a safe haven for these men.

Since it is Lockdown in “Fine” city Singapore, being caught would be anathema. Singapore is a very conservative Asian country, and being exposed for gay deeds, incurs a punishment of not just Public Health laws, but also the 377A, and lots of public shaming.

Don’t get me wrong, I love gay people. I completely support the LGBT and I myself am possibly Bisexual. I am very glad that there are platforms out there for gay and bisexual men to meet each other, platforms which are privately owned and not at the mercy of government intervention. But such boldness, such audacity, is required to meet for sexual relations in a time of Lockdown.

When nature calls, we are all but animals. We need what we need, and we want what we want.

Such is the curious case of the fatherly (and thus incestuous, but we shall not get into that) relationship between a lean Twink, a 20 year old, starry-eyed, innocent young NSF who plans to enroll in university the next year, who says goodnight to his mon in the room next door before bed; and a 50 year old Daddy Bear with a dad bod, who speaks with the masculinity and maturity of many years of experience in life, who is the sole breadwinner for a wife and 4 kids.

A dark relationship. One which, though there be many pleasantries and fun to be had, cannot be told to anyone. A relationship filled with hiding, vulnerabilities, trust, but not too much, because anyone might be a narc. And still they trust. It is a base yet admirable relationship.