Idolising DaVinci

19/06/19

this is likely drafted sometime in early March or February of 2019

To think that I should forever be haunted by the knowledge that everything I have learnt in 12 years of education is useless and will remain useless. It's a wonder that barely three months has passed since the last exam and I have already forgotten almost everything I learnt. That's probably for the better the earlier I forget the traumatic experience. All that remains is the vague memory of the notes I once wrote, the words that were once so important to us. The fuzzy memories surprise me of the fact that I once remembered all this in such clarity and detail such as to be able to score an A. I was just looking at a bunch of shampoo bottles in a shop. Herbal Essences to be exact, one of those dodgy SLS paraben silicone filled shit. And I was just thinking about how it should better be called Petrol Essences as suggested by a blog post I once read. And I started extrapolating into how with fracking and enzymes and other things any product can potentially be created out of crude oil. And the reaction charts. And then I realise that whereas once I knew almost everything, now I merely remember it as vague pictures, disappearing.

To think that I should forever remember what I have once learnt in school, and have scored spectacularly well in, and which caused me much grief and torture in the process. But which from now on I will remember in less and less detail as it slowly fades from my mind. And the memories of the events and the people, which I will never return to again.

Now, though I may enjoy the various things that I have learnt and should want to pursue everything that exists, they are forcing us to make a choice. Oh, what I would give to be a renaissance man. To do everything, though not the best, but average to good in everything. Enjoying life. Not having the boredom of midlife because there’s always something new to learn. Lifelong learning is encouraged because people didn’t have specialisations.

OH, WHAT I’D GIVE TO BE ITALIAN NOBILITY IN THE FIFTEENTH CENTURY!!

Damn if I am dammed digging up graves and setting churches on fire. Damn if I am burnt at the stake. To be a generalist rather than a specialist and not be berated because of that.