The Disastrous Nonsense of my Teachers Pissing me off
19 Jan 2019
What have I achieved from 12 years of school? Nothing.
It was the night of 7 November 2018, or I guess its already passed over to 8 November. I lie awake in my dusty bed. I had tossed and turned dozens of times. I try to tell myself that its pointless to think. But its not of use. I can’t fall asleep. The next day was the official start of the A level exams.
So, the next day I went for the GP exams with a mere 5 hours of sleep, at least, I hope. Thinking, the next day will be better, I will be able to sleep. Because the next day was math, and sleeping was really important to not screw up a math exam. But as I went home, overwhelmed with tiredness, I took a four-hour afternoon nap. And was screwed over royally. The night of 8 November I couldn’t fall asleep too.
At that time, I asked myself. There were two options, to not be able to sleep every night before exams, or to have nightmares every night, even until after the exams. And at that time, it seems like the first option was defaulted to me. So, I hope that at least I would be spared of the nightmares, unlike what happened during O levels two years prior.
But Murphy’s law holds true. So, in the end it is both outcomes which are happening to be, and the worst forms. I am unable to sleep before my exams. But now that exams are over, insomnia remains. The night after my last paper on 6 December, I had zero hours of sleep. Its like the muscle memory of insomnia has fully implanted itself in my brain. Yesterday too, and many days in between, I am unable to fall asleep.
Continuing murphy’s law, the nightmares haunt me too. Nightmares of not being prepared. Nightmares of the exams. Nightmares of the results. The nightmares haunt me. Even until very recently. I am unable to free myself. But you know what? That’s fine. I’m friends with my worst fear, deepest sadness, and greatest loss.
And so, the first day of exams I surprised myself by actually finishing the first paper with time left to use the queer strategy of writing a copied and credited poem in the conclusion of the essay. I wonder if this will make up for my atrocious spelling. This poem trick, introduced by Francis a mere week before the exam, how is a week sufficient to learn to use a skill and apply it in a hot 90 minutes? Anyway, paper two was trash, hence its pointless to hope.
But Francis. To quote Dylan Evans,
‘I will not follow the widespread practice of talking about belief in God. Instead, I will usually speak of belief in gods. There are two important differences here. First, I see no reason to capitalise the word god. Secondly, I prefer to speak of gods in the plural, rather than god in the singular. To understand why, consider unicorns. If you wanted to find out whether someone believed that such creatures exist, you would probably ask: “Do you believe in unicorns?” You would certainly not ask: “Do you believe in unicorn?’, let alone ‘Do you believe in Unicorn?’ Even if you believed that there was only one unicorn in the universe, you would probably say ‘I believe in unicorns.’ You might add ‘I believe that there is only one unicorn in the universe’, just to be clear, but you certainly wouldn’t say ‘I believe in unicorn”. Even is the unicorn had a name – let’s say his name was Charlie – you wouldn’t say ‘I believe in Charlie’. By analogy, it is just plain odd for anyone to say, ‘I believe in God’.
Hence to encourage the idea that religiosity is either a belief or lack thereof in “God”, is presumptuous, dangerous and discriminatory. While personally godless, there are people out there who believe in one, two, or many more gods. And they cannot be simply dismissed and expected to bow down to the standards of monotheistic, Abrahamic religion believing people. And to the kids out there who believe in Abrahamic religions. I feel your hostility, please tone it down a little. Y’all are freaking educated people, if y’all can’t let go of your religion at least give some credit to the people of other religions or of no religion who come along, instead of being all high and mighty like the creator you believe in. “playing God” gets you to hell, since that’s what you fear. And also, it is simply wrong to assume that believers have more knowledge of mythical lore and their holy books. The strict sects may have studied the books in detail. But give the book to any educated person, and by educated person I mean person with very basic education in science such as physics. Most of them, if on the fence, will harden in resolve to not believe. It is those who already deeply believe, or whom disbelief brings about repercussions, who will become more convinced to be believers. Giving excuses for the various contradictions in the books because cognitive dissonance forces them to change their belief or their knowledge bank, and they choose to plug the gaps with fabrications.
Damn I don’t actually know what my point is. I guess I just wanna say that teachers who choose to teach religion and philosophy should not simply assume that believers have more knowledge of their religion and the stories surrounding that religion. True Atheists, while few in number in Singapore where religion plays but a minor role (most doubters really don’t care), are this way because they understand the religion. Give them some credit please. Atheists don’t really care about the names of storybook characters, this can be found with a simple google search, I wonder why that is even a point of discussion. Atheists don’t care which chapter a quote appears in. Atheists don’t care how many wives and how many children these characters had, nor their names. But atheists care about the big picture. They care about the message, and how it can influence people. They care about how the meaning is convoluted by history and the passing of time.
Also note that people who have studied History, I don’t see how you can be religious. I have only learnt a very introductory course in History, with only a mere 4 years of my education. I cannot even claim to be an expert in any historical topic. But History has sworn me off religion. You cannot reconcile actually knowing about primary and secondary sources, how to analyse them, and their limitations, with your desire to blindly believe a religion which is based upon unreliable sources.
And, major digression (and depression) ahead, to the fourth person my age I’ve met who is a vegetarian. So far I haven’t met any vegans my age in real life, and I hope that will change soon. I mean like I don’t even talk to people, just maybe like see them announce their dietary requirements in a big group at camp or in class or something. So, like, the fourth person I met who is a vegetarian. She who has tried veganism in secondary school but failed because egg is her main source of protein. She (bloody hell I need to give her a name) claims, ok, Eva (named after Eva Braun) claims that she is vegetarian not because of religion, but because of health and ethical reasons. And I would say environment is also a good reason to go vegetarian today. I have nothing against vegetarians, they are doing much better than the majority, even if they do not intend to go vegan ever. But what I have a problem with is religious-ovo-lacto-vegetarians who avoid alliums. So Eva says that her religion, officially Buddhism, which everyone knows following Francis’s lesson asking everyone about their religion, is just a convenient excuse for her to be vegetarian, which she says has a deeper reason such as health and animals. And this deeper reason is probably found upon years of her pondering vegetarianism, despite being a lifelong vegetarian. But Eva “avoids alliums”. The only reason to avoid alliums seem to be in religion, which I strongly disagree with, as seen in here. And if one were to be a true ethical and health vegetarian, the various studies of the benefits of alliums should point a person to consume more, not less, alliums. Unless you buy into FullyRaw Kristina’s bullshit about alliums and spices being excitotoxins. And if you believe FRK, it is impossible to only believe the allium stuff and not follow her advice on eating only raw plant foods. Damn. Hence, any vegetarian, religious or not, should not be avoiding alliums if they have any degree of rational thought. So for Eva, religion definitely plays an important role in her vegetarian diet.
(Shh I don’t really care about the reputation of alliums. But garlic bread is delicious)
And now another unrelated episode: it is very very difficult to fail physics. I remember the time when I got so pissed with the teacher that I decided to do badly the test by not answering a third of the questions, to piss her off because I usually do quite well. And I ended up getting 18/30. And I failed to fail.
What have I achieved from 12 years of school? Nothing.
It was the night of 7 November 2018, or I guess its already passed over to 8 November. I lie awake in my dusty bed. I had tossed and turned dozens of times. I try to tell myself that its pointless to think. But its not of use. I can’t fall asleep. The next day was the official start of the A level exams.
So, the next day I went for the GP exams with a mere 5 hours of sleep, at least, I hope. Thinking, the next day will be better, I will be able to sleep. Because the next day was math, and sleeping was really important to not screw up a math exam. But as I went home, overwhelmed with tiredness, I took a four-hour afternoon nap. And was screwed over royally. The night of 8 November I couldn’t fall asleep too.
At that time, I asked myself. There were two options, to not be able to sleep every night before exams, or to have nightmares every night, even until after the exams. And at that time, it seems like the first option was defaulted to me. So, I hope that at least I would be spared of the nightmares, unlike what happened during O levels two years prior.
But Murphy’s law holds true. So, in the end it is both outcomes which are happening to be, and the worst forms. I am unable to sleep before my exams. But now that exams are over, insomnia remains. The night after my last paper on 6 December, I had zero hours of sleep. Its like the muscle memory of insomnia has fully implanted itself in my brain. Yesterday too, and many days in between, I am unable to fall asleep.
Continuing murphy’s law, the nightmares haunt me too. Nightmares of not being prepared. Nightmares of the exams. Nightmares of the results. The nightmares haunt me. Even until very recently. I am unable to free myself. But you know what? That’s fine. I’m friends with my worst fear, deepest sadness, and greatest loss.
And so, the first day of exams I surprised myself by actually finishing the first paper with time left to use the queer strategy of writing a copied and credited poem in the conclusion of the essay. I wonder if this will make up for my atrocious spelling. This poem trick, introduced by Francis a mere week before the exam, how is a week sufficient to learn to use a skill and apply it in a hot 90 minutes? Anyway, paper two was trash, hence its pointless to hope.
But Francis. To quote Dylan Evans,
‘I will not follow the widespread practice of talking about belief in God. Instead, I will usually speak of belief in gods. There are two important differences here. First, I see no reason to capitalise the word god. Secondly, I prefer to speak of gods in the plural, rather than god in the singular. To understand why, consider unicorns. If you wanted to find out whether someone believed that such creatures exist, you would probably ask: “Do you believe in unicorns?” You would certainly not ask: “Do you believe in unicorn?’, let alone ‘Do you believe in Unicorn?’ Even if you believed that there was only one unicorn in the universe, you would probably say ‘I believe in unicorns.’ You might add ‘I believe that there is only one unicorn in the universe’, just to be clear, but you certainly wouldn’t say ‘I believe in unicorn”. Even is the unicorn had a name – let’s say his name was Charlie – you wouldn’t say ‘I believe in Charlie’. By analogy, it is just plain odd for anyone to say, ‘I believe in God’.
Hence to encourage the idea that religiosity is either a belief or lack thereof in “God”, is presumptuous, dangerous and discriminatory. While personally godless, there are people out there who believe in one, two, or many more gods. And they cannot be simply dismissed and expected to bow down to the standards of monotheistic, Abrahamic religion believing people. And to the kids out there who believe in Abrahamic religions. I feel your hostility, please tone it down a little. Y’all are freaking educated people, if y’all can’t let go of your religion at least give some credit to the people of other religions or of no religion who come along, instead of being all high and mighty like the creator you believe in. “playing God” gets you to hell, since that’s what you fear. And also, it is simply wrong to assume that believers have more knowledge of mythical lore and their holy books. The strict sects may have studied the books in detail. But give the book to any educated person, and by educated person I mean person with very basic education in science such as physics. Most of them, if on the fence, will harden in resolve to not believe. It is those who already deeply believe, or whom disbelief brings about repercussions, who will become more convinced to be believers. Giving excuses for the various contradictions in the books because cognitive dissonance forces them to change their belief or their knowledge bank, and they choose to plug the gaps with fabrications.
Damn I don’t actually know what my point is. I guess I just wanna say that teachers who choose to teach religion and philosophy should not simply assume that believers have more knowledge of their religion and the stories surrounding that religion. True Atheists, while few in number in Singapore where religion plays but a minor role (most doubters really don’t care), are this way because they understand the religion. Give them some credit please. Atheists don’t really care about the names of storybook characters, this can be found with a simple google search, I wonder why that is even a point of discussion. Atheists don’t care which chapter a quote appears in. Atheists don’t care how many wives and how many children these characters had, nor their names. But atheists care about the big picture. They care about the message, and how it can influence people. They care about how the meaning is convoluted by history and the passing of time.
Also note that people who have studied History, I don’t see how you can be religious. I have only learnt a very introductory course in History, with only a mere 4 years of my education. I cannot even claim to be an expert in any historical topic. But History has sworn me off religion. You cannot reconcile actually knowing about primary and secondary sources, how to analyse them, and their limitations, with your desire to blindly believe a religion which is based upon unreliable sources.
And, major digression (and depression) ahead, to the fourth person my age I’ve met who is a vegetarian. So far I haven’t met any vegans my age in real life, and I hope that will change soon. I mean like I don’t even talk to people, just maybe like see them announce their dietary requirements in a big group at camp or in class or something. So, like, the fourth person I met who is a vegetarian. She who has tried veganism in secondary school but failed because egg is her main source of protein. She (bloody hell I need to give her a name) claims, ok, Eva (named after Eva Braun) claims that she is vegetarian not because of religion, but because of health and ethical reasons. And I would say environment is also a good reason to go vegetarian today. I have nothing against vegetarians, they are doing much better than the majority, even if they do not intend to go vegan ever. But what I have a problem with is religious-ovo-lacto-vegetarians who avoid alliums. So Eva says that her religion, officially Buddhism, which everyone knows following Francis’s lesson asking everyone about their religion, is just a convenient excuse for her to be vegetarian, which she says has a deeper reason such as health and animals. And this deeper reason is probably found upon years of her pondering vegetarianism, despite being a lifelong vegetarian. But Eva “avoids alliums”. The only reason to avoid alliums seem to be in religion, which I strongly disagree with, as seen in here. And if one were to be a true ethical and health vegetarian, the various studies of the benefits of alliums should point a person to consume more, not less, alliums. Unless you buy into FullyRaw Kristina’s bullshit about alliums and spices being excitotoxins. And if you believe FRK, it is impossible to only believe the allium stuff and not follow her advice on eating only raw plant foods. Damn. Hence, any vegetarian, religious or not, should not be avoiding alliums if they have any degree of rational thought. So for Eva, religion definitely plays an important role in her vegetarian diet.
(Shh I don’t really care about the reputation of alliums. But garlic bread is delicious)
And now another unrelated episode: it is very very difficult to fail physics. I remember the time when I got so pissed with the teacher that I decided to do badly the test by not answering a third of the questions, to piss her off because I usually do quite well. And I ended up getting 18/30. And I failed to fail.
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