Strong people control their identity

26 Jan 2016

Song of the day: Nijiirou Days ED
In less than three months, I have managed to lose: my wallet, my SD card, and many pieces of scrap paper I use to write on has been incinerated. And all these are basically almost everything that has sentimental value to me. And I feel lost as well. I feel useless. As a human, I seem to have lost my identity. Identity is created from our memories, and our intangible memories are tagged to tangible physical objects to serve as reminder of our past. And this feeling of confusion and detachment I’m feeling now…it figures that I’m another weak person who bases my memories, and thus identity, on my material possessions. So I’m weak.
The identity of which was based on that physical object is what makes up our psyche. By definition, that's “the human soul, mind or body”.
In RPGs, there’s a type of character, or rather, most characters are like that, who bases their skill or superpower on a certain physical object. With that object, be it a sword or simply a stone, this character is extremely powerful. Without that object, that character is worthless.
These characters may be called the upper-middle class, considering overall ability. What makes them great, is the fact that they are the best, or at the top of their skill type. Their skill level is so high that no one can beat them. They are the elite few. So, what makes them not fully upper class? Well, they aren’t in full control of their psyche.
Normal characters train day and night, putting in lots of hard work in order to learn a skill. They use only their physical body, and their internal mentality when they fight and do anything else. But this class of people are not willing to put in the effort to learn and train. They want easy and fast mastering of the skills. They want to quickly become the best, now. They are hungry for power and fame. Therefore they refuse to learn and train the humble and honest way, instead, they find an object, or even a fellow living being that they feel a deep passion for. For all their years of training, they dedicate whatever they learn to the Thing. How it works is that the Thing is like a computer hard disk, which helps the person to remember facts and actions and movements and all. Because they no longer have to spend energy to remember what they have learned, they have more time to learn new things, saving time and effort.
During battle, obviously they will have to activate the Thing to help them fight, because they have no real skill in their psyche. They are highly dependent on the Thing. They think that they are invincible, and they enjoy the power. Actually, that isn’t false. They are indeed strong. However, they assume that this will be the case forever, that they are unbeatable regardless of anything.
They are deeply mistaken. Objects can be stolen, and living beings, especially humans, are highly animate. They may die or they can just decide to leave you. And all this time, the character had been using this Thing to maintain their psyche. They have lost the ability to battle alone or even stay alive. When they lose the Thing, they just melt into nothingness.
It’s like a drug withdrawal. They need to find this thing immediately, to regain a bit of function. But of course, life isn’t as sweet as to allow his to find the Thing so easily. This class doesn’t know just how weak and damaged they are. They try to fight back against the urge, and try to give up on the Thing. But when abandoning the thing, they realise how pathetic their powers are. They are still desperate for power and fame. So they run after that thing like a lost sheep. But it was a mistake from the start, they are just too greedy. And sin always begets retribution.
On another thought, this physical object that gives a character its psyche may present itself offline as well, by the way of how a gamer relies completely on his thousand dollar (or more) gaming computer in order to play the game well. People who can use a normal, cheap, slow computer to game and still win it are really admirable.
Truly strong people gain this strength from constant hard work over a lifetime. Considering their dedication, they have no need for anything physical to hold on to their psyche. Thus all the identity and self-worth they have is fully contained in their psyche, which in itself is an extension of their sovereign, physical body. Their humanity is there, regardless of whether they live in a palace, on the streets, or have fallen in war.
I want to be able to have full control of my psyche, at least as a final product of my life’s work. But how? It’s so difficult. And I don't even get instant gratification.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

It Will Settle Itself Somehow

A Quick Lament on Singaporean Vegetarianism

AY2020/21 Semester 2 Module Ramblings