Job Search Overkill.
15 Feb 2019
This post was created on the 9th of January so it is at least five weeks late, i dont know why i never got around to posting it. Or maybe I did and now I am just doing it again with a different name and that is just dumb.
Im pretty sure what im doing is overkill. It feels like overkill.
When you’re trying to find a job and apply to more positions than you can count on your hands. I was told that this is supposed to be normal. But this is too much. But I actually expected that anything I qualified for I would be instant accepted. But apparently not. The calls don’t come in.
Monday, I received a message from someone who can’t English. Is that a thing? I let it blow. For the second time (erm its actually three times now). I fucking blew it. Woosh. Hear the wind?
Then panicked me as usual left my phone on silent mode and placed it in a dark corner of the room not to be seen because I don’t want to face up to the reality of having to actually do stuff. And that’s actually worse, because now I had to call back the missed calls. And its PAINFUL. Heart stoppingly painful.
Also, I expected calls to come in like the gushing flow of water in a river after a rain. But its more like a trickle.
Life sucks.
And I feel like handing in too many applications is compromising my identity security is some way. It probably is. Even though the services which I submit my information to, are bound by privacy agreements, I cannot trust the internet.
I cannot trust people who can’t English.
And here I have phantom phone ringing syndrome because I keep hearing my phone ringing even though it is not. Having my phone be so new and so “above me” doesn’t help at all. I panic about my phone because it is too good. It is better than I expected it to be. I expected a mid-tier phone with the budget of my financer but turns out his budget is larger than expected, meaning that the phone prices are all deflated on that expanded budget and I got a top-tier phone which I chose on a whim to suit the budget, but which was way too above me. And so basically, I don’t know how to use my phone because it is too high end and I’m a minimalistic teenage fountain pen fanatic which makes me a bit of a luddite when it comes to technology. I cannot deal with my phone being better than me.
TBH blowing opportunities is nothing new to me. Which is why I am very paranoid. And I seem to blow everything good which comes across, fucking good god. I have a bit of a dignity to maintain. But perhaps that means I’ll forever be broke. Fuck that, but damn.
This post was created on the 9th of January so it is at least five weeks late, i dont know why i never got around to posting it. Or maybe I did and now I am just doing it again with a different name and that is just dumb.
Im pretty sure what im doing is overkill. It feels like overkill.
When you’re trying to find a job and apply to more positions than you can count on your hands. I was told that this is supposed to be normal. But this is too much. But I actually expected that anything I qualified for I would be instant accepted. But apparently not. The calls don’t come in.
Monday, I received a message from someone who can’t English. Is that a thing? I let it blow. For the second time (erm its actually three times now). I fucking blew it. Woosh. Hear the wind?
Then panicked me as usual left my phone on silent mode and placed it in a dark corner of the room not to be seen because I don’t want to face up to the reality of having to actually do stuff. And that’s actually worse, because now I had to call back the missed calls. And its PAINFUL. Heart stoppingly painful.
Also, I expected calls to come in like the gushing flow of water in a river after a rain. But its more like a trickle.
Life sucks.
And I feel like handing in too many applications is compromising my identity security is some way. It probably is. Even though the services which I submit my information to, are bound by privacy agreements, I cannot trust the internet.
I cannot trust people who can’t English.
And here I have phantom phone ringing syndrome because I keep hearing my phone ringing even though it is not. Having my phone be so new and so “above me” doesn’t help at all. I panic about my phone because it is too good. It is better than I expected it to be. I expected a mid-tier phone with the budget of my financer but turns out his budget is larger than expected, meaning that the phone prices are all deflated on that expanded budget and I got a top-tier phone which I chose on a whim to suit the budget, but which was way too above me. And so basically, I don’t know how to use my phone because it is too high end and I’m a minimalistic teenage fountain pen fanatic which makes me a bit of a luddite when it comes to technology. I cannot deal with my phone being better than me.
TBH blowing opportunities is nothing new to me. Which is why I am very paranoid. And I seem to blow everything good which comes across, fucking good god. I have a bit of a dignity to maintain. But perhaps that means I’ll forever be broke. Fuck that, but damn.
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