Actually a legitimate plan for my future

22 Oct 2016

Song of the day: The Islander by Nightwish
Exams are finally over, again. after eight torturous days of mugging so hard I thought my eyeballs were gonna fall out, cramming through the night daily, powered on by coffee, sleepless nights lying awake and thinking about formulas…ok who am I kidding. I’m not a study kind of person. The past days I’ve been limiting my studying to less than two hours outside of school time, and the only times I had to stay up late was if I was watching YouTube videos for fun, or playing games on my phone until its 10.30 pm and realising I haven’t started studying, so I spend the next two hours actually reading my text. I tried to maintain at least 7 hours of sleep a day. My lacklustre studying methods hasn't made me feel like shit thus far. I’ve been able do most papers with some playful pride, even this subject called “Advanced Math”, where in previous years I would always have some questions that were simply too hard, but now that I did minimal studying, I actually completed the paper ten minutes before. Now thinking back I actually made some mistakes in some workings, and my carelessness would probably see me with some sub-par marks. But the thing is where others bemoaned how difficult it was, I actually found it too easy. And the fact that it was the last paper, and not challenging enough, made the whole examination experience very anti-climactic. If I were to say this to my friend, she would surely call me a show-off and bemoan that I was insulting her or calling her dumb. But I’m really not that evil.
And I even thought that I was different because I studied less. It was my lack of academic motivation. But people who are even smarter and get better results while studying even lesser are actually quite common, especially people of my personality type. I recently learnt that I was an INTP on the MBTI Personality types system, and according to forums, this type doesn't need to study at all and can still get best results. I’m not that wonderful, but I guess I’m close enough. And I also happen to be enneagram type 5w4, and these two results basically make me expect an overachiever who is simply too smart and yet never studies, and also a snob about their intelligence. But I guess I’m kinda relieved to say that I’m a more normal student in this population subtype. This personality things was constantly on my mind during exam period, I wanted to do more research on the topic, and was hooked on the net. I promised myself all the time in the world to research after I completes the last exam. But not that it’s all over my interest seem to have waned a little. In fact, everything seems kinda boring to do now. I still love surfing the net, but when it’s my main goal instead of a distraction, it’s somehow less vibrant.
Now that exams are over, there’s also something else that I want to do. I want to write out my views about contemporary issues and other stuff, so that I can develop my ability in formulating my points better and have a steady argument. As an aspiring non-conformist in the making, I strive to have as unique a view as possible, and I wish to be able to have a proper justification for each of my thoughts. My opinion on writing and expressing yourself is that, although reading widely is important and really helpful, it’s even better to practice writing out your perspectives. So basically I’ll try to write more often. I’ve even prepared a list of topics to write about that will help to frame my thoughts. It contains quite a mashup of things from sexuality to even politics, and as far as I had counted, there are 27 topics that I want to write about to date.
I actually expected that I would have lots and lots of free time now that school exams are over, and I seem to be physically recovering from it. But O’levels are in like, two weeks? Omigod. That's fast. And I seem to be getting sick again now that I know there’s another exam. Is there even an end to this cycle of life and death? If i get sick every time there are exams, I’ll just die before I even get a degree.

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