disillusioningillusion

060523 (long overdue) You know it’s a real ethics class when theres at least one insult about how useless sudoku is during the lesson on axiology. Or just morals. We’ve got to target sudoku, always. Else it ain’t a real ethics class. Pre-Semester Reflections <redacted for cringe> That Delulu Part of the Semester I’m not sure why but there appears to be a theme of “history” in all my mods this semester. Like variations on history. But none of them are HY coded. CL1101E Actual legit history. Well i got what I expected. Including the language barrier. Legit history about the evolution of Chinese language and also how people migrated and how southern Chinese dialects are actually Vietnamese??? and its quite cool but why do i feel like those foreign students…i don’t know what i feel about them. Hey, it’s not that bad really. They’re civilized. Not like the bunch i met at Xin Wang Hong Kong Café at Kent Ridge the other time. CS3203 Reflecting on my history and finding...

24/12/22 Its over. My personhood is still lost somewhere in the abyss; I did not find it. I did not regain my personhood. Sapere aude. But I do not dare to look, I do not dare to know. What is knowledge for, and what is education for? Clearly, I was wrong in answering the latter. In fact, they do want me dead, “my” x mod 6 = 1. It was constant pain. Alas I did not earn my right to be treated as a human. And again and again and again I had contemplated exercising my radical freedom, almost deciding to back out gracefully. But it turns out I did not need to do a thing. Or should I say, I could not do a thing. I had no choice in the matter. Come to think about it, just what do I actually have control and power over? I had no say in anything. I had always thought that I had the power, but really I do not. In love as in work, I do not hold the phallus. In love, I had believed that he has castrated himself in his love, giving me the phallus which he thought he had. I thought I had the p...