disillusioningillusion

011022 Everyone, meaning every human, has a right to live. But does every human have the right to be treated like a human? Is this right a privilege of being human, granted by virtue of being human, or does it need to be earned? And if so, how does one earn this right? Two people can speak the same words and with the same tone and attitude. Yet the emotion it evokes in my mind is totally different. The one who has clearly earned the right of being treated like a human (Person A), I listen and appreciate what they have to say. The one who has not earned the right to be human (Person B), I listen with annoyance. People say that familiarity breeds contempt. Is this what’s at play here? I think there’s more to it than that. Person A has proven themselves to be useful by carrying a large part of our group project. And also, because they are like a mentor that is more useful than our actual mentor. A teacher that teaches better than our actual teacher. Though sounding like a fucking sh

10/09/22 For all we know, CS3250 is a non-existent module. Something about Hume and the beauty of knowledge as the unattainable girl out of your league who friendzoned you. The striving for something that stops me from quitting. Though I don’t think it will be easy to quit. I…cannot experience the joy of acquiring knowledge. Some philosopher somewhen must have had remarked something along this line, I guess. Learning is difficult. Increasingly, my neurons find it hard to make new connections, and I take a long time to understand things. Only to forget them. Over and over and over again. But once a piece of knowledge is made known to me, it just seems so trivial and immediately apparent. Like, the “OH!” moment. But in the same moment it becomes so so trivial. Or maybe this is a good thing. I get to experience the joy of gaining knowledge over and over again.